The First Step

Here we go again…

I’ve tried to make who knows how many blogs to document my specific journey through “life.” But you know what? I somehow always manage to neglect my own blogs by not keeping up with them or not pushing myself to write anymore.

I get paranoid easily, so to think that whatever I document on the internet will stay on the internet forever is kind of intimidating- not to mention a lot of pressure. But who’s to say that there will be tons of people reading this? Not me.

I don’t see myself making a living from blogging or getting well-known for it or etc. Like I said, it’s a way for me to document my life. If I had the time and software, I definitely would be making vlogs (working in film making is one of my passions, but when you don’t have the money for the equipment, you’re kind of at a standstill). Who’s to say that I won’t be able to in the future? The possibilities and opportunities I’ll encounter are endless to think of. That’s kind of the fun in that, but also worrisome for someone who’s 50 times more likely to worry about little things that others don’t (me).

Anyway, my past blogs seemed to have only consumed positive experiences I’ve been through. And that was it.

It wasn’t real. It’s so obvious and cliche when I say that life isn’t about sunshines and rainbows all the time.

Not only that, but I was afraid of being judged. However I then realized that it doesn’t matter. Because there is someone out there who also shares my insecurities, my worries, and etc. Sharing stories (whether by works of art, writings, or films) to others can be a way to let them know that they are not alone.

That’s why even though I still have some of that fear in me, I’ve come to the decision not going to let it take over my mind, soul, and life anymore. I’m going to try to commit and share my experiences to others. Maybe it’ll inspire them or maybe it’ll just give them a good laugh. I don’t know. But what I do know is that I want to feel something again and I want influence others in a positive light.

It’s not going to be easy. I know I have a long way to go.

But the first step begins with the decision to try.

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