Ghosts: The Dating Kind

Finding a topic worth writing isn’t all that easy, at least not for me. I’ve been socially awkward for as long as I can remember so it’s hard for me to find the right words to say. But who cares, let’s just say what first comes to mind!

Uh, no.

˗ˏˋ ♕ ˎˊ˗

Maybe in some cases that’s acceptable but not most of the time (for me anyway).

Online dating’s interesting, isn’t it? From what I remember, it used to be looked down upon and only predators used it to hunt down innocent people. However, now it’s become a new fad. Everyone is doing it- well not “everyone,” most people are.

There are definitely pros and cons to online dating. Pros would consist of the convenience of meeting numerous of new people in the palm of your hands, not have {as bad of}  anxiety of making the first move, and so forth. On the other hand, the cons would be not knowing 100% if the person you’re talking to is who he/she says he/she is, everything is based on your photos and bios if/when people read them, and don’t get me started on the whole ghosting fiasco.

Ghosting: The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. (urban dictionary)

Now, I have to admit I’ve been guilty of ghosting people in the past that were too forward. There’s a saying that goes, “what goes around, comes around,” so karma caught up to me and I’ve also been ghosted.

We all make mistakes and I was able to learn something from these experiences.

“Ghosters” need to stop being afraid/rude/immature. Dating isn’t a single person thing, it involves two people. That means someone else’s feelings are in your hands. You shouldn’t be selfish and make the decision to ignore someone on your own and not give the other person a reason for not wanting to see him/her anymore. It’s also rude, as I’ve mentioned before. If you started to lose interested in someone, let him/her know. Don’t leave them hanging. You’re better than that.

So to the guys I’ve ghosted… I have to say I’m sorry. From what I remember, you came on a bit too strong and, as someone who’s mostly an introvert, it freaked me out. I hope you guys have been able to find someone who’s worth your time, but if not then that’s okay, too. Just go out and live your life because this is the only one you’re gonna get in this lifetime.

“Ghostees” shouldn’t take it too personally when they are ghosted. You shouldn’t waste your time making up reasons for why the person’s not texting/calling you back. No, he/she probably didn’t get into a car accident and got amnesia. {I’ve been guilty for thinking so thanks to my colorful imagination} What he/she did is not okay, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be okay. Why? Uh, because you’re awesome. Duh. This person just couldn’t handle how awesome of a human being you are. Carry on with your life and when the time comes to venture out and meet other people, you’ll meet other people. It’s not the end of the world. 

Here’s the thing; we are all limited on the amount of time we have in our lives. We personally do not know when it will come to an end. While that can be a scary thought, it’s also beautiful. There is beauty in the unknown- and that’s coming from someone who gets paranoid about the unknown; that’s a story for another blog.

Anyway, you shouldn’t waste your time on people who aren’t deserving of it. It’s okay to be a little selfish when you pick who/what you want to spend your time with. That’s what you’re suppose to do; set priorities, make goals, go out there and do something. Trust me, wasting your life away is no fun.

So if you’re ghosted, who cares. Move on. There’s no need to focus so much time and energy on someone who doesn’t deserve it. Eventually, someone who is deserving will come along. Just don’t dwell on it too much.

According to one of my best friends, these experiences {along with others} have made me very guarded and have multiple walls/layers. There’s nothing wrong with that. It just makes me more difficult, but also more worthwhile.

Everyone is worthwhile, in their own unique way.



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